A wise woman once told me that, as a photographer, your website is like your handshake and your blog is your voice. Since then, I’ve really begun to insert myself and my personality much more into my blog and I’m finding it to be incredibly therapeutic. In the last year I’ve spent an exorbitant amount of time sitting at my desk – writing emails, editing photos, communicating with local vendors, working on my website, keeping up-to-date with my marketing tools (and the list goes on..) – it honestly has become quite isolating, despite the rewards that I’ve experienced with the growth of my business and the amazing, wonderful people I’ve met as a result of this journey so far. I’m finding that utilizing my blog as a way to express myself is really helping me fight those feelings of solitude or anxiety, worry, fear.. and I’m not afraid to admit that I experience those feelings because a big part of my job is the expectation I have for my clients to open themselves up to me emotionally … to allow themselves to become vulnerable in order for me to capture the very essence of who they are. I think I’d be quite the hypocrite if I didn’t offer that same sense of vulnerability back to my clients.
Lately I’ve been having a hard time accepting the fact that there are people out there who wont hesitate to use, abuse and discard you faster than yesterday’s newspaper. From the very beginning I vowed to myself that I would never be that person who views someone as a means to an end; I would never put profits before people; I would run a business that placed value on the relationships I have with my clients and not just the money that they pass through their hands to mine. I vowed to myself that I would never step over somebody to climb to the top but rather, I would reach out my hand and help them up so that we could both climb even higher together. Kelly Cutrone once said “You know where nice people end up? Welfare.” I’m starting to believe that this may arguably be true but I still hold onto the hope that nice people can triumph. But the point of this blog post is not to play victim or look for pity but rather I wanted to remind myself that despite whatever issues I’m struggling with, I should be so grateful that I have my family by my side to support me in whatever I do (and I know that there is at least one person out there reading this who may need a little reminder as well of the good energy and loving people they have in their lives). Next to my family, Vasili has been there for me in countless ways and has faced every day with me for the last 3 years. I honestly don’t know if I could have accomplished even half of what I have in that time if it weren’t for him. He holds me when I cry, he brings me food and tea when I’ve been up all day and night working and have forgotten to eat, he gracefully points out when I’m wrong and reminds me the value of taking the higher road.. he mends my heart when I feel like it’s broken and I’m not sure how to piece it back together myself.
With that being said, I wanted to take a few minutes to share a moment from earlier today. While doing work at my desk, I looked over and noticed Vasili playing a game on his iphone and Basil was sitting on his lap looking out the window. I wanted to capture that moment forever because it was then that I went through the thought process I just laid out in the previous paragraph. Though much easier said than done, I realized that we shouldn’t spend any amount of time dwelling on negativity or those who wish us harm when we are surrounded by so many other people whose hearts are full of love for us